Pride, the Silent Killer of Relationships, Ministries, and Spiritual Growth
Scripture
Proverbs 16:18 – “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”
Proverbs 6:16-17 – “These six things the Lord hates, yes, seven are an abomination to Him: A proud look, a lying tongue…”
We’ve All Lost Something to Pride
You know that feeling when you realize too late that you were completely wrong, but you’d already dug in your heels so deep there was no graceful way out?
Yeah. We’ve all been there.
Maybe it was:
The marriage that’s hanging by a thread because neither of you will apologize first. You both know who said what. You both know it hurt. But someone would have to humble themselves and admit fault, and that person is definitely not going to be you. So you sit in silence, scrolling your phone on opposite sides of the couch, slowly bleeding out emotionally because pride won’t let you say, “I’m sorry.”
The friendship that just… ended. You can’t even remember exactly what the fight was about anymore, but you remember being right. Dead right. So right that you were willing to lose a 10-year friendship to prove it. And now when you see their pictures on social media, there’s this ache but reaching out would mean admitting you were wrong. Or at least admitting that being right wasn’t worth losing them. So the ache stays.
The job you lost because you couldn’t take correction from your boss. They weren’t even being mean about it just pointing out an area where you could improve. But instead of saying “Thanks for the feedback,” pride whispered, “How dare they criticize you?” So you got defensive. Then defiant. Then unemployed. Turns out “I don’t need this job anyway” sounds a lot braver than it feels when you’re updating your resume at 2 AM.
The ministry opportunity that went to someone else because you had to be in control. God opened a door, but the door required working under someone else’s leadership, following someone else’s vision, playing a supporting role instead of being the star. And pride said, “That’s beneath you.” So you passed. And now you watch from the sidelines as God does something amazing without you and you wonder if you missed your moment because you couldn’t humble yourself.
The years, sometimes decades wasted staying stuck in the same patterns, the same sins, the same brokenness, because you were too proud to ask for help. Too proud to admit you couldn’t fix yourself. Too proud to go to counseling, join a recovery group, or confess to a trusted friend. So you smiled on Sunday, posted victory scriptures on social media, and died a little more inside every day, because asking for help would mean admitting you’re not as strong as you pretend to be.
Pride has a way of convincing us we’re winning… right up until we realize we’ve lost everything that actually mattered.
The promotion. The relationship. The opportunity. The peace. The joy. The friendship. The marriage. The anointing.
All sacrificed on the altar of “I’m right” or “I don’t need help” or “That’s beneath me” or “I can handle this myself.”
And here’s the really painful part: while we were busy protecting our pride, we didn’t notice it was quietly destroying everything we actually cared about.
The Enemy That Looks Like Confidence
Here’s the tricky thing about pride: it doesn’t usually look like pride.
It looks like:
- “I’m just being honest about my abilities” (No, you’re bragging)
- “I’m standing up for myself” (No, you’re being stubborn)
- “I’m maintaining my standards” (No, you’re being judgmental)
- “I don’t need anyone’s help” (Famous last words before a spectacular failure)
- “I’m fine” (Translation: “I’m drowning but too proud to admit it”)
Pride is the only disease that makes everyone sick except the person who has it. You can spot it in others from a mile away, but in yourself? It’s invisible.
It whispers: “I can handle this myself.”
It says: “I’m better than them.”
It protests: “I deserve credit for what I’ve accomplished.”
It refuses: “I don’t need to apologize first, they were worse.”
And here’s the kicker: while pride is telling you how great you are, it’s quietly destroying everything around you.
Your marriage. Your friendships. Your ministry. Your relationship with God. Your peace. Your joy. Your effectiveness.
Pride is like a termite; invisible, silent, working in the background, and by the time you notice the damage, half the house has already collapsed.
What God Really Thinks About Pride
Now, you might think God is just a little annoyed by pride. Like, “Oh, that’s not great, but it’s not murder or anything.”
Wrong.
According to Scripture, God doesn’t just dislike pride, He hates it. It’s an abomination to Him.
And before you think “abomination” is just biblical language for “really don’t like,” let me tell you what else is called an abomination in Scripture: idolatry, sexual immorality, child sacrifice, and… pride.
Pride made God’s Top 7 list of things He absolutely cannot stand.
Let that sink in for a moment.
God put pride in the same category as things we would all immediately recognize as evil. Why? Because pride is the root of almost every other sin. It’s what got Satan kicked out of heaven. It’s what got humanity kicked out of the garden.
Pride doesn’t just offend God it opposes Him. And when you’re operating in pride, you’re walking in opposition to the God.
What God Says About Pride – It Tops the List of What God Hates
Proverbs 6:16-19 gives us a sobering list:
“These six things the Lord hates, yes, seven are an abomination to Him:
- A proud look ← Notice what’s #1?
- A lying tongue
- Hands that shed innocent blood
- A heart that devises wicked schemes
- Feet that are swift in running to mischief
- A false witness who speaks lies
- One who sows discord among brethren”
Pride isn’t just on God’s hate list, it’s the opening act. It gets top billing. First place. Gold medal in the “Things God Can’t Stand” Olympics.
Why? Because pride is the gateway drug to every other sin on that list. You can’t have a lying tongue without pride (too proud to admit the truth). You can’t sow discord without pride (my way or the highway). You can’t devise wicked schemes without pride (I know better than God).
Pride is the mother sin. The grand coordinator. The CEO of the evil empire in your heart.
The Consequences of Pride
Scripture doesn’t mince words about what pride brings:
“Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18)
Translation: You’re about to face-plant. Hard. And everyone’s going to see it.
“When pride comes, then comes shame.” (Proverbs 11:2)
Not “might come.” Not “could potentially come.” Will come. Like taxes and awkward family dinners, inevitable.
“Only by pride comes contention.” (Proverbs 13:10)
Ever wonder why you’re always arguing with people? Surprise! It’s probably pride.
“A man’s pride shall bring him low.” (Proverbs 29:23)
What you think is lifting you up is actually digging your grave.
“God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6)
Let that sink in: God actively resists the proud. Not ignores. Not tolerates. Resists. Like pushing against a door you’re trying to open. God is on the other side saying, “Nope. Not happening. Not until you deal with your pride.”
Think about that next time you wonder why your prayers feel like they’re bouncing off the ceiling.
What Pride Produces
According to Scripture, pride brings:
- Destruction – Complete ruin
- Shame – Public humiliation
- Contention – Constant conflict and strife
- A fall – Loss of position, influence, and blessing
- God’s resistance – Divine opposition
- Broken power – Loss of spiritual authority
- Distance from God – He “knows the proud from afar”
Pride doesn’t just affect you, it blocks God’s work in your life.
The Characteristics of Pride
Pride shows up in countless ways, and most of them we’ve brilliantly relabeled as something else:
In Your Thoughts:
- Self-exaltation – Thinking more highly of yourself than you ought (AKA: believing your own hype)
- Self-sufficiency – “I don’t need God’s help or anyone’s help” (Famous last words)
- Self-righteousness – Comparing yourself favorably to others (“Well, at least I’m not like THAT person”)
- Unteachability – Refusing to receive correction (Because obviously, you already know everything)
- Know-it-all attitude – Actually believing you know everything (Spoiler: You don’t)
In Your Behavior:
- Arrogance – Acting superior to others (While wondering why no one likes you)
- Haughtiness – Looking down on people (From your imaginary pedestal)
- Stubbornness – Refusing to yield or compromise (Even when you’re clearly, obviously, 100% wrong)
- Boasting – Constantly talking about your achievements (I’m good, I’m really really good, you wish you were me)
- Taking credit – For what God did through you (Congratulations, you just stole from God)
- Refusing to apologize – Even when you’re wrong (Because that would require admitting you’re wrong)
- Unwillingness to serve – Certain tasks are “beneath you” (Jesus washed feet. But sure, you’re too important to help set up chairs)
In Your Relationships:
- Contention – Always having to be right, constant arguing (Even about things that don’t matter. Especially about things that don’t matter.)
- Divisiveness – Sowing discord, causing splits (“It’s not me, everyone ELSE is the problem!”)
- Domination – Controlling and manipulating others (Because clearly, you know what’s best for everyone)
- Contempt – Despising those you consider inferior (While Jesus hung out with tax collectors and sinners)
- Unforgiveness – Refusing to humble yourself and forgive (While asking God to forgive you. The irony is painful.)
- Gossip and slander – Tearing others down (To make yourself look better by comparison. Very Christian of you.)
In Your Ministry:
- Spiritual pride – “I’m more spiritual than them”
- Religious pride – “My doctrine is right; theirs is wrong”
- Ministry pride – Taking credit for what God is doing
- Gifting pride – Exalting yourself because of your spiritual gifts
- Power pride – Becoming exalted after seeing God work through you
Luke 10:17-20 warns about this: The disciples returned with joy, saying “Lord, even the demons are subject to us!” Jesus responded: “Don’t rejoice that spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”
Even in deliverance ministry, casting out demons, pride can creep in. You can become exalted in your thoughts about yourself when you learn you have power over the enemy.
Remember: You can’t do anything without God. The greater the anointing, the more humble, gentle, and loving you should become.
The Opposite: Biblical Humility
What God Says About the Humble
“God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6)
“Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.” (James 4:10)
“The humble He saves.” (Job 22:29)
“Honor shall uphold the humble in spirit.” (Proverbs 29:23)
“The Lord is near to those who have a contrite and humble spirit.” (Isaiah 57:15)
The Call to Humility
2 Chronicles 7:14 gives us the pathway:
“If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.”
Notice the order:
- Humble yourself – First requirement
- Pray
- Seek God’s face
- Turn from sin
Then God hears, forgives, and heals.
What Humility Looks Like
Matthew 18:4 – “Whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”
Humility means:
- Dependence on God – “I need You for everything”
- Teachability – Willing to learn, receive correction, change
- Serving others – No task is beneath you
- Quick to apologize – Admitting wrong without excuses
- Giving God credit – Acknowledging He’s the source of everything
- Considering others – Valuing others above yourself
- Gentleness – Strength under control
- Meekness – Power surrendered to God’s will
Classic Examples of Pride in Scripture
1. Satan’s Fall (Isaiah 14:12-15, Ezekiel 28:11-19)
Satan was the most beautiful, anointed cherub in heaven. But pride entered his heart:
“I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God… I will be like the Most High.”
Result: Cast out of heaven, taking one-third of the angels with him. Pride cost him everything.
2. Haman (Book of Esther, Chapters 3-7)
Haman was elevated to a high position in the kingdom. When Mordecai refused to bow to him, Haman’s pride was wounded. He became full of wrath and plotted to destroy not just Mordecai, but all the Jews.
Result: Hanged on the very gallows he built for Mordecai. His pride led to his destruction.
3. King Nebuchadnezzar (Daniel 4)
A powerful king who took credit for his own greatness: “Is not this great Babylon, that I have built… by my mighty power and for the honor of my majesty?”
Result: Driven from his kingdom, ate grass like an ox, until he acknowledged God’s sovereignty. His pride cost him his sanity and his throne, until he humbled himself.
4. The Pharisee (Luke 18:9-14)
Prayed: “God, I thank You that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess.”
The tax collector prayed: “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!”
Result: Jesus said the tax collector went home justified, not the Pharisee. “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled.”
The Problems Pride Creates
Pride Blocks Your Relationship with God
James 4:6 – “God resists the proud”
When you operate in pride, you’re walking in opposition to God. He doesn’t just ignore you, He actively resists you. Your prayers hit the ceiling. Your spiritual growth stalls. The anointing lifts.
Psalm 138:6 – “The Lord… regards the proud from afar”
God keeps His distance from the proud. You can be in church every Sunday, serve in ministry, know Scripture but if pride is present, God knows you “from afar.”
Pride Affects Your Marriage
Ephesians 5:22-25 gives God’s design:
- Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord
- Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church
Pride says:
- “I don’t need to submit, I’m equal”
- “She should respect me automatically”
- “I shouldn’t have to serve him/her”
- “I don’t need to apologize, I wasn’t totally wrong”
Result: Contention, division, distance, dysfunction. Pride destroys marriages.
Pride Divides the Church
Proverbs 13:10 – “Only by pride comes contention”
Why do Christians fight each other? Different beliefs? Doctrinal disagreements?
The root is pride. “I’m right, you’re wrong. My way is better. My interpretation is correct.”
Churches split, relationships break, the body of Christ is wounded, all because of pride.
Pride Limits Your Ministry
When pride enters ministry:
- You take credit for what God is doing
- You restrict your ministry to certain people, places, or comfort zones
- You compromise the Word to please people and avoid offense
- You operate in false gifts that give a veneer of spirituality
- You make ministry about you instead of about God
The result? God lifts His hand. The anointing decreases. Your effectiveness diminishes.
Principle: As your bondage to pride decreases, your anointing increases.
The Spiritual Reality of Pride
Pride as a Strongman
Pride isn’t just a character flaw, it’s a spiritual strongman. A demonic force that:
- Establishes legal ground in your life
- Opens doors to other spirits
- Blocks your spiritual growth
- Hinders the flow of God’s anointing
- Keeps you in bondage
Job 41 describes Leviathan, a sea serpent demon associated with pride that coils in the abdomen and causes:
- Spiritual darkness – Can’t see truth clearly
- Mental blocks – Hindered understanding of Scripture
- Weariness – Sleepiness during worship and prayer
- Distraction – Can’t concentrate during Bible study
- Rationalization – Using logic to avoid God’s truth
- Depression and melancholy – Fruit of unbroken pride
Related Spirits That Work with Pride
Pride doesn’t work alone. It opens the door to:
Intellectual Spirits:
- Orion (first lieutenant of Lucifer)
- Rationalization and justification
- Intellectualism that opposes faith
- Philosophy that contradicts Scripture
Religious Spirits:
- Pharisaism and legalism
- Spiritual superiority
- Judgmentalism
- False piety and peace
- Counterfeit gifts
Emotional Spirits:
- Arrogance and haughtiness
- Ego and vanity
- Stubbornness
- Anger and wrath (when pride is wounded)
- Unforgiveness
- Bitterness and resentment
The Principle: When you compromise God’s Word even slightly, when you relax the preciseness of His commands for holiness and righteousness, you give access to these highly specialized spirits.
How to Break Free from Pride
Step 1: Recognize Pride in Your Life
Ask God to reveal it:
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me.” (Psalm 139:23-24)
Look for these signs:
- Do you struggle to receive correction?
- Do you have to be right in arguments?
- Do you find it hard to apologize?
- Do you look down on certain people?
- Do you take credit for your accomplishments?
- Do you resist authority?
- Do you compare yourself favorably to others?
- Are you unteachable or defensive?
If yes, pride has a foothold.
Step 2: Renounce Pride
Make a conscious, verbal declaration:
“I renounce pride. I recognize it as an abomination to God. I turn away from it completely. I refuse to give it any place in my life.”
Step 3: Humble Yourself Before God
James 4:10 – “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.”
Come to God as a little child:
- Dependent, not self-sufficient
- Teachable, not know-it-all
- Trusting, not self-reliant
- Needy, not proud
Step 4: Repent and Ask Forgiveness
Confess specifically:
“Father, I confess the sin of pride in my life. I have been [specific examples: arrogant, unteachable, self-sufficient, taking credit for Your work, etc.]. I have sinned against You and against others. Forgive me.”
Forgive yourself:
Don’t stay in condemnation. Receive God’s forgiveness.
Forgive others:
Pride often causes us to hold unforgiveness. Release it.
Step 5: Break the Curse of Pride
Legal rights must be canceled:
Pride operates through legal ground; sins committed by you, your ancestors, or those in authority over you. These must be renounced.
Declare:
“I break the curse of pride over my life. I cancel every legal right the enemy has held through pride whether through my own sins, generational sins, or sins of those who had authority over me. I close every door pride has opened. I command every spirit of pride and related spirits to leave me now, in Jesus’ name.”
Step 6: Put On Humility
1 Peter 5:5-6 – “Be clothed with humility, for God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time.”
Practical ways to walk in humility:
- Serve others – Especially in ways no one sees
- Receive correction – Without defensiveness
- Give God credit – For everything good in your life
- Apologize quickly – When you’re wrong
- Value others – Above yourself (Philippians 2:3)
- Submit to authority – With a good attitude
- Stay teachable – Always learning, always growing
A Prayer to Break the Curse of Pride
“Almighty God, I come to You in the matter of pride. Pride is an abomination to You, and I recognize it as such.
I renounce pride and turn away from it completely. I humble myself before You and come to You as a little child, dependent, teachable, and needy.
I ask You to forgive me for every sin I’ve committed in pride. I forgive myself. I release myself from all condemnation.
I forgive my ancestors, my descendants, and anyone who has had spiritual or carnal authority over me for any sins of pride that have affected my life. I ask that You save them, bless them with spiritual blessings, bring them into truth, and meet their needs out of Your riches in glory.
I break the curse of pride over my life. I cancel every legal right that pride has held, through my sins, generational sins, or the sins of others. I close every door that pride has opened.
In the name and authority of Jesus Christ, I command every spirit of pride to leave me now:
- Spirit of pride, ego, and vanity
- Arrogance, haughtiness, and superiority
- Stubbornness, rebellion, and unteachability
- Self-exaltation, self-sufficiency, and self-righteousness
- Religious pride, spiritual pride, and intellectual pride
- Leviathan and all associated spirits
- Every spirit that has worked with pride—leave now!
Father, I ask You to fill every place these spirits occupied with Your Holy Spirit. Clothe me with humility. Give me a gentle and contrite heart.
Teach me to walk humbly with You, to serve others selflessly, and to give You all the glory for everything You do through me.
Restore what pride has stolen. Increase Your anointing in my life as bondage decreases. Make me effective for Your kingdom.
I ask all these things in the blessed name of Jesus Christ, my Lord, Master, and Savior. Amen.”
This Week’s Challenge:
1. Ask God to reveal areas of pride – Journal what He shows you
2. Confess and renounce specifically – Don’t be general; be specific
3. Practice one act of humility daily:
- Serve someone without recognition
- Apologize to someone you’ve wronged
- Receive correction without defensiveness
- Give God credit publicly for something good in your life
- Submit to authority with a good attitude
4. Memorize Scripture on humility:
- James 4:10
- Proverbs 16:18
- Philippians 2:3-4
5. Accountability – Share your struggle with pride with a trusted believer and ask them to pray for you and hold you accountable
Remember This
Pride goes before destruction.
God resists the proud.
Humility comes before honor.
God gives grace to the humble.
You cannot walk in both pride and power. You cannot walk in both arrogance and anointing. You cannot walk in both self-exaltation and God’s exaltation.
The choice is yours: humble yourself, or be humbled.
One happens by your choice. The other happens by God’s hand.
Today’s Memory Verses
Proverbs 16:18 – “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”
James 4:6 – “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
James 4:10 – “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.”
May God give you a humble and contrite heart. May you walk in freedom from the curse of pride. May His anointing increase in your life as bondage decreases. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Interested in learning more?
If you are interested in learning more then click on the below link to our forward.