The Love That Costs Everything – A Devotional on Greater Love
Scripture: John 15:13 – “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
The Question That Won’t Leave You Alone
What if the love you’ve been showing isn’t actually love at all?
What if all your kindness has been conditional? Extended only when it’s convenient, only when it benefits you, only to people who can return the favor?
What if Jesus is calling you to a kind of love that costs you everything and you’ve been living like it should cost you nothing?
This morning, the Lord impressed John 15:13 on my heart, and it won’t let me go, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
At first glance, this seems impossibly heroic, the stuff of war heroes and martyrs. But as I’ve sat with this verse, I’ve realized something uncomfortable: Jesus isn’t just describing what He did. He’s describing what He expects from us.
The Love We Saw on the Cross
Let’s start with the obvious: Jesus was talking about Himself. Within hours of speaking these words, He would be arrested, beaten, mocked, and crucified. He would literally lay down His life not for people who loved Him back, but for people who were still His enemies.
Romans 5:8 says it clearly, “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Think about that. Jesus didn’t wait for you to clean up your act. He didn’t die for you after you got your life together. He died for you while you were still a mess, still selfish, still broken, still running from God. That’s the ultimate example of sacrificial love. Agape love. The kind of love that doesn’t ask “What’s in it for me?” but says “What can I give, even if it costs me everything?”
The Love He’s Calling Us To
Here’s where it gets personal. Jesus spoke these words to His disciples just before His crucifixion. This wasn’t just a history lesson it was a command. He was preparing them (and us) for what following Him actually looks like. Just before this verse, in John 15:12, Jesus said, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” Not “try to love.” Not “love when it’s easy.” Not “love when people deserve it.” Love as I have loved you. Sacrificially. Radically. Completely.
And then He gave them (and us) the standard, Greater love has no one than this to lay down one’s life.
What Does This Look Like for Us?
Now, most of us won’t literally die for someone. But here’s the thing, Jesus isn’t just talking about physical death. He’s talking about a daily death to self.
Luke 9:23 makes it clear, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.”
Daily. Not once. Not when it’s convenient. Daily.
So what does “laying down your life” actually look like in Friday-morning, stuck-in-traffic, exhausted-from-work, barely-holding-it-together real life? It Looks Like Sacrifice
Laying down your life means, putting aside your personal agenda when someone needs you, even when it’s inconvenient, even when you’re tired, even when you had other plans. Sacrificing your precious time with no immediate benefit to you, sitting with someone who’s grieving, listening to someone who just needs to be heard, helping someone when there’s nothing in it for you. Giving your resources when it hurts a little, not just your leftovers, but giving in a way that actually costs you something. Showing compassion to those in need even when they’re difficult, even when they won’t say thank you, even when no one else will know you did it. It looks like Selflessness. In a world obsessed with self-care, self-promotion, and self-fulfillment, Jesus calls us to self-denial. Not self-hatred. Not self-destruction. But a willingness to say, “Your needs matter more than my comfort.”
Philippians 2:3-4 puts it this way, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Read that again slowly. Value others above yourselves. Not “value others as much as yourself.” Above yourself. Not looking to your own interests. Looking to theirs.
This is the opposite of everything our culture teaches us. Everything in us screams, “But what about ME? What about MY needs? What about MY happiness?” Some even use the acronym “WIIFM”, What’s in it for me?
And Jesus says, “Deny yourself. Take up your cross. Follow Me.”
The Hard Truth We Don’t Want to Hear
Here’s what we need to face, most of what we call “love” isn’t really love at all. We love people who love us back. We’re kind to people who are kind to us. We give to people who can return the favor. We sacrifice for people when it doesn’t cost us too much. But Jesus says in Matthew 5:46-47, “If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?” Ouch. Loving people who already love you? That’s easy. That’s what everyone does, Christians and non-Christians alike.
The question is: What are you doing that’s different?
Are you loving the difficult people? The offensive ones? The ones who don’t appreciate it? The ones who can’t pay you back?
Are you laying down your life for your enemies? Because Jesus did. And He’s calling us to do the same.
Who Are We Really Called to Love?
Let’s address the question directly. Are we only supposed to love our select friends and blood family? If we’re honest, that’s how most of us live. We’re generous with our inner circle, tolerate everyone else, and avoid people who make life difficult. But look at what Jesus says in Matthew 5:44, “Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.”
Read that list again:
– Your enemies, (the people actively working against you)
– Those who curse you, (the ones saying terrible things about you)
– Those who hate you, (the ones who genuinely despise you)
– Those who persecute you, (the ones making your life miserable)
Jesus says: Love them. Bless them. Do good to them. Pray for them. Not tolerate. Not ignore. Not avoid. Love.
Romans 5:6 reminds us, “Christ died for the ungodly.” He didn’t die just for His friends. He died for people who rejected Him, mocked Him, and nailed Him to a cross. If Jesus is our model, then laying down our lives extends far beyond just our friends and family. It includes the annoying coworker, the toxic family member, the neighbor who complains about everything, the person who hurt you and never apologized.
Why This Feels Impossible
If you’re reading this and thinking, *”There’s no way I can love like that,”* you’re absolutely right. You can’t. Not on your own. Not with human love. Not with willpower or good intentions. This kind of love, Agape love is supernatural. It’s God’s love flowing through you, and it only happens when you’re walking in freedom from your own bondages.
Here’s what I mean:
You can’t love sacrificially if you’re controlled by selfishness.
You can’t serve others if you’re enslaved to your own comfort.
You can’t value others above yourself if pride is ruling your heart.
You can’t lay down your life daily if you’re clinging desperately to control.
This is why deliverance is critical. The strongholds in your life; fear, pride, bitterness, unforgiveness, self-centeredness, these aren’t just personal struggles, they’re blocking the flow of God’s love through you. As the level of your bondage decreases, the anointing and love of God will increase. You’ll find yourself able to love in ways you never could before not because you’re trying harder, but because God’s Spirit is flowing more freely through you.
What This Looks Like in Real Life
Let me get practical. Here’s what “laying down your life” might look like this week:
It might mean:
– Apologizing first, even when you weren’t entirely wrong
– Listening fully to someone without checking your phone or planning your response
– Canceling your plans to help someone in crisis
– Giving financially to someone in need, even when your budget is tight
– Forgiving someone who hasn’t asked for forgiveness and probably never will
– Serving someone who will never thank you
– Loving someone who makes it really, really hard
It might mean:
– Biting your tongue when you want to defend yourself
– Extending grace when someone disappoints you again
– Praying for someone who hurt you
– Helping your enemy when they’re in need
– Choosing peace over being right
None of this is natural. All of it is costly. That’s why it’s called laying down your life.
The Daily Practice of Dying to Self
Jesus didn’t say, “Wait for a grand moment of sacrifice.” He said, “Take up your cross daily.” This means every single day, you wake up and make a choice, Will I live for myself today, or will I lay down my life in love?
John 13:35 says, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
Not by your Bible knowledge. Not by how often you go to church. Not by your theological correctness. By your love. Specifically, by sacrificial, selfless, costly love that looks like Jesus. This should be normal in the body of Christ. Not rare. Not exceptional. Normal. But it’s not. Why? Because most of us are living in the modern concept of love which is all about self-satisfaction, feelings, and what benefits us. True Agape love is counter-intuitive. Humans prefer taking over giving. We’re wired for self-preservation, not self-sacrifice.
That’s why when we see it, a father diving into raging waters to save his child, a mother asking doctors to prioritize her child’s life over her own, a soldier falling on a grenade to save his brothers, we’re stunned. We’re humbled. We’re awed. That’s the reaction Jesus wants people to have when they see Christians love. They should be stunned. Confused. Wondering, *”Why would they do that?”
And the answer should be: “Because Jesus loved us that way first.”
The Choice Before You
So here’s the question you have to answer today: Will you love the way Jesus loved?
Not just in theory. Not just when it’s easy. Not just for people who deserve it. Will you lay down your life, your agenda, your time, your comfort, your preferences, your rights for others? Will you love your enemies, not just your friends? Will you serve the difficult people, not just the pleasant ones? Will you give sacrificially, not just generously when it’s convenient? This is Jesus’s command: “Love each other as I have loved you.” It’s not a suggestion. It’s not optional if you want to be a “serious” Christian. It’s the mark of a true disciple.
A Prayer for Greater Love
Jesus, I’ll be honest, this terrifies me. Laying down my life. Loving my enemies. Sacrificing my comfort, my time, my preferences daily. I don’t think I can do it. But I know You’re not asking me to do it in my own strength. You’re asking me to let Your love flow through me. So here’s what I’m asking: Break the bondages in my life that are blocking Your love. Deal with my selfishness, my pride, my bitterness, my need for control. Deliver me from everything that keeps me focused on myself instead of others. Give me Your heart for people, even the difficult ones, even the offensive ones, even my enemies. Teach me what it means to deny myself daily. Show me opportunities to lay down my life in practical ways this week. I don’t want to just know about Your love, I want to live it. I want people to see You in the way I love others. Transform me from the inside out. Make me like You.
In Your precious name, Amen.
Before you close this mini lesson, take a moment to reflect:
1. Who in your life is hard to love right now? (Name them specifically. That difficult family member, that frustrating coworker, that person who hurt you.)
2. What would “laying down your life” for them look like this week? (Be specific. Not “I’ll be nicer,” what’s one concrete action you could take?)
3. What’s holding you back from loving them sacrificially? (Pride? Unforgiveness? Fear? Selfishness? Be honest.)
4. What bondage do you need deliverance from in order to love more freely? (Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal it.)
5. What’s one sacrifice you could make today for someone else’s good? (Your time? Your money? Your preferences? Your comfort?)
Remember This
Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life.
Jesus didn’t just teach it. He lived it. And then He died it.
Now He’s calling you to the same kind of love.
Not someday. Not when it’s convenient. Not when people deserve it.
Today. Costly. Sacrificial. Radical.
That’s the love that matters. That’s the love that changes the world. That’s the love that proves you’re His disciple.
Will you love that way?
Memory Verse – John 15:13 – “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
May you discover the freedom to love as Christ loved you. May your life be marked by sacrificial, selfless, radical love that points others to Jesus.
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